Been So Lonely


Writing: Mixer Jaëxx
Production: Mixer Jaëxx
Album: MIDI Controlled Addiction

Vocals: Mixer Jaëxx, Foxxy Angel
Mastering: Mixer Jaëxx
Copyright: Mixer Jaëxx, U.S. Copyright Office, 2014


Foxxy Angel: I’ve been so lonely
Foxxy Angel: I’ve been so lonely
Mixer Jaëxx: I’m sorry
Foxxy Angel: You're no help
Mixer Jaëxx: Come here baby
Foxxy Angel: I’ve been so lonely
Foxxy Angel: Why do I feel this way?
Mixer Jaëxx: Why do you feel this way?
Foxxy Angel: It's 'cuz of you
Mixer Jaëxx: Come here baby
Foxxy Angel: No
Mixer Jaëxx: It's not my fault
Foxxy Angel: Is it always mine?
Mixer Jaëxx: Maybe
Foxxy Angel: You fuckin' jerk
Mixer Jaëxx: Come on baby
Foxxy Angel: I’m so damn lonely (Because of you)
Mixer Jaëxx: I won't let you stay this way
Foxxy Angel: I’ve been so lonely
Foxxy Angel: I’ve been so lonely
Mixer Jaëxx: I'm lonely too


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Been So Lonely is actually my very first song. It’s been around for a long time. Since the song was created so long ago, I ended up creating an unreleased remix of the song called the Dreamstate Mix. The Dreamstate Mix actually sounded better than the original and had more elements and more personality.

As a producer and recording artist, I try to keep personal standards for my music. I sometimes will create something that sounds good but doesn’t have a certain quality I’m looking for. But that can easily prevent you from actually releasing anything or needlessly perfecting one or two songs forever. It’s a fine line between standards and actually allowing yourself to release things even if they aren’t 100% perfect.

Well for Been So Lonely, I had updated the song every now and then and kept the song technically up-to-spec with the rest of my music but there came a problem; Been So Lonely no longer had the “feel” to it… the personality and style that the rest of my music had. The song would have to be massively rethought out and, if you’re going to do that, might as well create a new song from scratch.

So when preparing for the release of MIDI Controlled Addiction, trying to decide which 7 songs I would work on to finish, I kept thinking back to Been So Lonely. I kept thinking it might be nice to try to recreate it for a future album, but its my first song… kinda’ a shame and a weird thing not to have it be on the first album.

I kept thinking about it and how the song was well designed and good musically and how the Dreamstate Mix was testimony to that, considering the Dreamstate Mix sounded even better.

Then I had an epiphany; Been So Lonely had clarity but was lacking grit while the Dreamstate Mix introduced grit while destroying clarity. Boom… fuse the two together! It was a long shot but I decided to see if it would work. The two “songs” had the same exact melodies and same exact drum patterns, which makes sense considering the second “song” is just a remix of the first. Rather than choosing, for instance, the xylophone sounding melody of the original or the ate-up synth melody of the remix, I used both and allowed them to harmonize with each other. I did the same for the pads and other instruments, including the drums.

So what you end up with are the parts of the original (the clean sound) and parts of the remix (ate-up sound). Once doing this, I saw Been So Lonely in a whole new light; a song I’m as proud of now as when I first created it.

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Recording artist & producer.